


just say you wont let go

by brookethenerd



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-29 23:56:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8510827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brookethenerd/pseuds/brookethenerd
Summary: Some kids at school find out Philip was the one that leaked the video. Philip gets beat up. Lukas comes to visit him. (aka protective Gabe and Helen, a pissed off Philip, and an apologetic Lukas)





	

The whole thing is a blur. One minute, Philip is walking down the hall to class, backpack slung over his shoulder, eyes forward. Then someone grabs his bag and he’s slung backwards, slamming into a locker. His backpack and Tommy’s camera clatter to the linoleum, and Philip barely has time to catch his breath before a fist is slamming into his stomach. The air disappears from his lungs, and his mouth gapes like a fish’s.

  
A rough pair of hands grabs him by the jacket and shoves him into the metal. His eyes go wide, and he finds himself looking into the face of some kid. His name might be Jake, or Jared, or Jack, Philip doesn’t know, and doesn’t care.

  
“What kind of pervert hides behind a tree to film people fucking? Everyone knows you’re obsessed with Lukas, but we didn’t think you were _that_ crazy.” He says, spit landing on Philip’s face.

  
Philip is so shocked he can’t speak. He just stands there, gasping for air, standing on his tiptoes.

  
“What’s it feel like to get caught? No words?” He asks. His buddies stand around him, sneering.

  
“You do anything like that again, it’s gonna be a lot worse than this.” The boy warns.

  
Philip knows what’s coming now. He also knows there’s nothing he can do to prevent it; he isn’t strong enough to fight against 7 guys either

.   
So when the boy lets go of him, and one of the others swings out a leg and he goes crashing to the floor, he simply curls in on himself, and lets it happen.

Only when they’ve left him bleeding on the floor does he wonder if this-Lukas-is worth it. Right now, he isn’t sure it is.

The bell rings, signaling the beginning of class, and 45 minutes until anyone will be back in the hall.

He lets himself lie there for twenty minutes. For twenty minutes, blood and tears mix together on his cheeks.

Then he pulls his aching body to his feet, slips out the side door, and walks home.

He finds Helen and Gabe frantically talking in the kitchen, Tony standing there with them.

“I know I’m probably overreacting. But we talked this stuff out; he always gets a ride from one of us. The fact that he wasn’t there-“ Helen trails off when she sees him. Her mouth falls open, and Tony’s eyes go wide.

“I’m-I’m gonna give you guys a few minutes.” He says, quickly exiting the house, likely to sit outside in his car until he’s needed again, not wanting to be involved in the awkward situation.

“What the hell happened to you, Philip?” Helen exclaims.

“Who did this?” Gabe asks calmly. 

Philip presses his lips together, which only results in a spark of pain; he’s pretty sure he has a split lip. 

Before he can stop himself, he rushes forward, and wraps his arms around Helen, burying his face in her neck. She stiffens, confused as to what’s going on. 

Gabe nudges her, and she hugs Philip back. Her grip tightens, and she rubs his back, her heart swelling with love for the boy. 

Philip, already embarrassed at what he’s just done, pulls away quickly, wiping his face.

“Just some kids at school. It’s not a big deal.” He says gruffly.

“Shirt off. Now.” Helen commands.

“It’s not-“

“Take your shirt off.” She says. Philip meets Gabe’s eyes, and, seeing that he is going along with her, does it. He lets his jacket fall off, and carefully tugs his shirt over his head, wincing as he does so.

“Broken rib. At least 1.” She says.

“Do we need to take him to the hospital?” Gabe asks.

“No! No hospital.” Philip says quickly. They both look at him, concerned.

“Philip-“

“Please. No hospital.” He says.  

For a minute, they just look at him.

Then, Helen says, “Okay. No hospital.”

Philip lets out a breath of relief, which sends a flurry of pain through him.

“Philip, you need to tell us who did this.” Helen says.

Philip shakes his head.

“Was it Lukas? Did Lukas do this to you?” Helen asks.

He wants to say yes. He wants to throw Lukas under the bus, because, in a way, Lukas _did_ do this.

But Philip agreed to his plan. All because he was terrified of losing this boy he doesn’t even have.

“No. It wasn’t Lukas.”

“Then who-“

“Look, I just really want to lay down.” Philip interrupts.

Gabe and Helen exchange a look.

“We’re going to talk about this later.” Helen says. Philip averts his gaze, and nods.

Gabe helps Philip get upstairs, and helps him out of his clothes and into sweats. Helen binds his ribs, and carefully maneuvers him into a soft tee shirt. She helps him lay down, propping pillows behind his head.

At some point, she brings up pain meds and water, which he takes, and quickly falls asleep. He’s pretty sure she sits by his bed for a while, too, and brushes the hair off his forehead. It’s nice; to be taken care of. He was always the one taking care of his mom. To be on the other side of that for once is nice. Really nice.

They don’t even mention him going to school the next day. It’s a Friday, so they just tell him he can go back on Monday.

For most of the day, he slips in and out of sleep.

Whenever he dreams, he dreams of Lukas, and the way he looked at him from where Philip hid behind the trees. 

Sometimes, he wakes up angry at Lukas for proposing the idea, and angry at himself for going along with it. 

Friday night Philip is laying in bed, an old portable DVD player propped on his legs, watching a movie, when Gabe pokes his head in.

“Someone’s here to see you.” He says.

Philip’s brows furrow. 

“Who?” He asks.

“Lukas.”

Philip closes his eyes for a moment, and flips the DVD player shut, setting it on the bedside table.

“I can tell him to go away. We can order pizza, and watch tv on the couch. Stupid comedy shows. Forget he was even here.” Gabe says.

Philip shakes his head, gnawing on the inside of his lip.

“No. Let him up. It’s okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” Philip says, even though he’s not. 

Two minutes later the door is opening. Lukas slips inside, and shuts the door behind him. He hesitates in front of it, looking uncertain.

He scans Philip’s injuries, brows pulling together.

“Philip…” He says. 

Philip, all of a sudden, feels insecure. He doesn’t want Lukas to see the black eye, or the fat lip, or the purple bruise on his jaw. He doesn’t want him to see the taped ribs, or the black bruise on his collarbone.

He doesn’t want him to see any of it. 

“Why are you here, Lukas?” Philip asks, his exhaustion evident in his voice. Lukas pauses, before coming to stand beside the bed, looking down at the mattress. Philip sighs, and shifts his legs over, giving Lukas a place to sit.

Lukas, grateful not to have to ask, sits down, the mattress dipping with his weight. Philip reaches for a hoodie, and carefully pulls it over his head, doing his best not to wince. He does, though, and Lukas notices.

“Tell me who it was.” Lukas says.

“No, Lukas.”

“Philip, tell me who it was, and I’ll-“

“You’ll what? Beat them up? You think that’s not gonna be obvious? You think they’re not gonna know why?” Philip asks, scoffing.

Lukas’ face contorts.

“They beat the shit out of you, because of me.”

“I agreed to that stupid plan, too.”

“I was the one that asked you. I-“

“It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over. You got what you wanted. Nobody suspects anything.”  Philip says bitterly.

For a moment, Lukas doesn’t speak. Philip can practically see Lukas turning the words over in his head.

“This,” Lukas says finally, “is not what I wanted.”

“What did you want?”

“I didn’t want-I didn’t-I didn’t want to-“ Lukas stammers.

Philip doesn’t help him out by finishing the sentence, or urging him on. He lets him stumble.

“I didn’t want to you to get hurt.” He says lamely. Philip knows he was going to say something different, but backed out at the last second. He wishes he hadn’t. He wants to hear it.

_I didn’t want to lose you._

Philip doesn’t say anything; he doesn’t know what to say.

Luckily, he doesn’t have to speak. Because Lukas swallows, grits his teeth, and says, “I didn’t want to lose you.” 

And the minute the words leave his mouth whatever anger Philip had dissolves.   
He carefully shifts over on the bed, making room for Lukas.

Lukas glances towards the closed door, and Philip expects him to get up and move further away from the bed.

Instead, he lays down on his side beside Philip, using his arm as a pillow. Philip lays on his back, head turned towards Lukas, eyes on his face.

Lukas reaches out, and gently grazes the bruise on Philip’s jaw with his fingers. 

Philip closes his eyes, and leans further into him.

“It’s not always going to be like this, you know. One day they’ll stop caring.” Philip says. 

He opens his eyes, and finds Lukas looking at him intently.

“I’m sorry.” He says softly. He leans forward, hesitating only a moment, and carefully presses a kiss to Philip’s temple. He stays there for a long second, lips against Philip’s skin. 

When he pulls back, he moves closer to Philip, and closes his eyes. He slides his hand down until he it finds Philip’s and he twines their fingers together, letting out a breath when their clasped hands come to rest on the blankets.

“I wish things were different.” Lukas says.

“One day they will be.” Philip says.

The two fall asleep that way, curled beside each other. 

When Gabe comes up to check on them, he stands in the doorway and watches for a moment. 

The two boys, clutching each others hands the way a child clutches a balloon string; like if one lets go the other will float away.

It’s obvious that neither boy has any intention of letting go.

 


End file.
